So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
