Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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