the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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