I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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