why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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