big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
