blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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