You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
