Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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