We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
