So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
