The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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