So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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