what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
