Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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