But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
