I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
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We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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