I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
