plz talk dirty to me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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