I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
