Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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