During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
