We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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