Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
