you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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