so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there was a trapeze. enough said
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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