Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she smelled like a LAN party
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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