why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize