just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
