I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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