Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
