It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
