I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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