Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
