He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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