i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
