Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we made out on top of his cat.
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All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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