In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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