I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
