shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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