quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
