We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
