I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
