What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
