We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
