Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
