she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
