FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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