remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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