Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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