Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
