i just made my gag reflex go away.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
