Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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