walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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