Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
