I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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