Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
