Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
